this is nothing too serious, just a blurb.

I can’t WAIT for the day that I can move into an apartment on my own, decorate everything on my own, sleep with no one around me on my own, feed my future guinea pig on my own.

I wouldn’t call myself an independent creature, far from it. Of course I feel lonely, of course I love spending time with people, of course it would be nice to have company whenever I feel like it. But that’s the thing, we only feel the need for company at certain times not every single time…or I guess there are people out there that feels a constant need for attention, love, and care.
As for me, whenever I feel lonely I just drag it on longer in hopes that I can grow the psyche of understanding and getting used to that dreaded “lonely feeling”. Look and call me crazy for that, but that’s just how I work and by doing so I think that’s what makes me completely fine with getting out and wanting to live life on my own.
I hate the idea of depending on my dad, asking him for money, etc.
That’s why I was so desperate looking for a job, that’s why I now have a job because my uncle is a great man, and that’s why I don’t ask my dad for money anymore.
And my next great investment is to find out how in the world I’m going to be able to pay for rent on my own. $1,000 a month if I’m lucky….$1,400 being realistically lucky.
But I know if I really want to do this, if I really want it that I’m going to find a way to make it happen on my own.

I sound like a freak that wants to live in solitude, but it’s far from that. I just want to take care of myself, because nobody else can. I won’t let them.

one day you’ll be mine <3


1 Comment

Filed under ramble, ramble

One response to “thoughtsurge.

  1. my file cabinets are made of recycled fiber, they are great for holding large file folders :”.

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