I know this is cliche, overused, whatever but there’s nothing like when music takes control of you and for a brief moment in time you just forget everything. You’re pouring your heart out, or maybe you’re dancing whether it be terribly or greatly you’re just so engulfed in it. So, so engulfed.
And even better, people that compose their own music. Friggin’ major kudos to you, cool kids.
Does it show? I’m upset, I’m stressed, I’m broken, I’m just tired.
I really hope no one reads this, this particular post and I’m not going to lock it because why even bother writing this knowing I’m taking the risk of some people I may or may not know reading every single word I’m typing out right now from my mind to the keyboard. I’m just pointing it out to further justify resorting to here, because this is the only place I can do that.
You know what?
I’m the person with crazy intuition, intuition so scary that’s why I call myself the professional guesser. It all makes sense now, IT REALLY DOES.
I’m the person who’s going to instill crazy motivation/pep talk into you even if it doesn’t work, because actually in the end you end up going with what I said. So don’t tell me “no/you’re stupid/lol shut up that’s never going to happen/omg jenn” BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU, WHEN THE HELL DID I EVER LEAD YOU ASTRAY? YEAH I THINK NOT.
I’m the person who is always going to worry about you if something happens, I don’t care what you tell me I’m just stubborn like that. I’m sorry, if I feel strongly about something I’m going to go with not because of my pride but because deep down I know no one would ever want to face it all alone.
I’m the person that’s going to help you.
I feel like I’m meant to be the next Mother Theresa, and not in the good way. I’m sure she did the things she did because of a genuine, good heart that yearned to fix the crying generation. Me? I’m just a kid that wants to do good, that empathizes with people a bit too much but deep down I want to be selfish too for a second. I want to do things for my own good as well time to time.
I’m not complaining, I’m finally gathering up the balls to confess to an internet blog what I want time to time.
Encouragement, a shoulder to lean on, and most of all I just want things to turn for the better.
It’s exciting and fun and all to have a day to day life where crazy stuff happens here and there, but I’m getting tired now. I need a rest, and I need to just for once something go in my way and just stay that way.
Can you please stop taking it away from me, God? I’m sorry to be selfish, but if you could just hear me out.