Analyzing love,

I think it totally hit me when Bryan said, “yeah, you don’t have to try as hard“.

That’s just been replaying in my head over and over again today.

Maybe some know, some don’t but I’ve been in a relationship for about 2 1/2 years now. I guess it really has been a LONG time, and maybe it’s just the type of person I am but I usually am in “long term relationships” but never this long. It’s going to be three years on August 31, 2010 and that’s when it’s hitting me that wow time is going by so fast.

I mean just think about it, I pretty much started and ended every year with this guy for the past 2 years and that is a pretty big chunk out of my life. Two years aren’t just years you simply throw away, or I hope you don’t!

But that’s sort of not the point, it’s the fact that I’m realizing we can never go back the way we used to be. The cute name calling, being excited to talk every single moment in a day, never being able to sleep because reality is finally better than your dreams (right, Dr. Seuss? :D), and just all that excitement and happiness that can make a person EXPLODEEEE!
All that cute stuff just vanished and I find myself always reminiscing about those time and so does Ed, but for some reason we never happen to on the same time. One might look at this and go, “wow, they sure have lost it”.
And you know what person? You’re right, we did lose the magic and spark of a relationship but in my opinion we gained something so much greater than that.

Honestly, I can feel so much lust and happiness toward a guy, always wanting to talk to him, see him, flirt with him, smile uncontrollably over him and whatever else Twilight series tend to describe love as but that’s the thing, I can do that with anyone.
Throw me a female and a grandpa, and I’m sure I can do that just as well.
It’s the fact that regardless of all the “cute” stuff that makes relationships seem so great on the surface and desirable to people that don’t have it within their reach, we still love each other.
Maybe we don’t love each other in the aspect of what true love consisting of marriage or soul mates is out there in this world, but I know for sure it’s a platonic type of love where I know even though I don’t tell him I love him every nanosecond and how cute and wonderful he is, that I can fall asleep knowing I still love and am with this guy the next day.
Knowing that I don’t even have to try to secure his love for me anymore, that we simply love each other for everything.

We have so many moments of absolutely saying nothing on the phone, and moments where when we do talk it leads to an argument about the stupidest shit in this world, and nothing cute comes out of his mouth that makes me want to submit it to Hallmark. Yet, that doesn’t matter at all and I’m so glad that I’m starting ¬†realize that that shouldn’t bother me because it’s perfectly normal.

I feel like as people we tend to react to change as a negative thing all the time, the comfort and security that we are so nestled in is the only thing that is considered right in this world. Reality check, change is never bad.

Let’s dwell on that later, as for now I hope some people out there realize that in the long run, relationships aren’t so glamorous but they amazingly say so much about your character that you can learn so much from.
sooo, yeah…holla?


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