bite your tongue

Wow, I haven’t updated in awhileeee. FAILURE, you can totally see that with the last blog seeing as to how I didn’t even go back to edit it.
Haha, it’s all good though just means a lot happened but maybe right now is the perfect time for me to finally unwind even though I really shouldn’t be. But, I’ll do what I want for once, this is my blog, my thoughts, my time, and I’ll be selfish like that.
I honestly am having a great winter break so far event wise, but got to remind myself that this isn’t all play but I need to put in a lot of extra work and throw in some reality checks throughout these days that I have to myself. Duties, duties, duties oh how they really do pile on as you grow up.

Today’s “Christmas Day” that was meant to be small that got smaller (unfortunately) still went really well at least in my opinion because of the amazing people that were there :)
too bad two other amazing people couldn’t show up, it would have been an even better time! but it’s all good, there are other days left in this world for such a time.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is that maybe my womanly cycle is about to creep up on me like a scary ninja, but I feel so many emotions welling up inside of me regardless of how happy I am and want to be. I feel like any given moment I’m going to just break down or something dramatic like that, but not because I’m sad but because I’m feeling just about everything as of this moment. Happiness, sadness, frustration, joy, anxiety, stress, etc. etc. etc. that it’s like a hooplah of all the emotions you could ever and never want at the same time. OH DO I LOVE IT.
But it’s all right, it honestly is because I have so many wonderful people in my life
that I know and learned over and over again that I know I can’t completely rely on for my happiness but for instances I know I can and that is more than fine with me.
I’m sure that’s why I try so hard not to let other people down, and try to do a lot of unnecessary things that I honestly don’t need to do but I guess it’s because a lot of people don’t do such things that why not just go ahead and do it.
I’m not saying I don’t let people down, because I know in my lifetime and in the future that I let a lot of people down and I could only hope that they forgave me but that really is life. And I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about anymore, I think this was just a desperate excuse from me cleaning the bathrooms and my room.
I hate bathroom cleaning, it’s disgusting.
All right, I’m done I swear.


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